Review – Avalis Dungeon 2: Boob Harder

If I was being totally honest, I’d have to admit that “Boob Harder” isn’t actually any part of the name of this game at all, which is just called “Avalis Dungeon 2.

In fact, maybe that’s another lie. Calling this a game is a bit like calling my dog-eared copy of Catch-22 a game, in that it’s not really much of a game at all.

Avalis Dungeon 2 works like this: you are in a static scene, and you press a button to choose a direction which takes you to another static scene. Occasionally you’ll have a fight, which shows you a static image of something with big tits and you choose between three attacks. Either you’ll guess right and move on, or you’ll guess wrong and have to start again. The whole game. You have to start the whole game again. There’s one single checkpoint in the middle but that’s it.

That might sound bad, but the entire game is actually about sixty seconds long, and if it didn’t send you back to the start every time you guessed wrong it would be over very quickly. Even as it is, it only takes about ten minutes to guess your way to the end. Oh, there’s that word again.

“Guess.”

You see, there’s no skill at all in Avalis Dungeon 2. You can’t look at an enemy and evaluate their weakness and choose an appropriate attack. There are no clues. No hints. Nothing. You might face two identical enemies that are killed by different attacks for literally no good reason and so all you can do is just press a button at random and hope for the best.

There’s just, well, there’s just not really any point, is there?

Avalis Dungeon 2 is available now for 240 Microsoft Points. That’s four points for every second of “game.”

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